I've been struggling with a sort of depression for a while now, at least that's what i thought it was...when it first came i considered it disillusion, and losing faith and hope, i blamed everyone else except myself. of course i knew it would eventually go away, like the many depressions I've had in the past, but this one was different, less intense but always there.So, I got a bit scared, cuz it was unusual, and I tried to fight it, go out more, meet new people, party more, just to keep my mind busy, and not to get bored. months passed, there were times when i could forget about it, when there was much work, or there was an important change in my life, but after a while the state of mechanical living came back, and it wouldn't go away anymore. I blamed it on being tired, stress, work, personal problems, fights...but then it hit me! None of them were the cause for this state of quasi-depression, it was getting older, becoming a fully grown-up individual (of course the type with a predisposition for depression, at least in the puberty phase). Just like in "The Weatherman", there is nothing else better to come, the life I've been imagining before is already here, and it's different than what I've imagined...